Okay so this Christmas season is looking a whole lot different than any other in my lifetime...probably yours as well. For me, it's the very first time I've not gone home to Bermuda for Christmas so I'll be spending it in the UK. Something as simple as gathering with family has been flipped on its head (especially with the curfew in Bermuda and the lockdowns and tier system in the UK).
I want you to know that however you may be feeling about Christmas this year is totally valid. A lot of times we look at our feelings and instead of just allowing ourselves to feel them, we judge them instead or compare them to how we think other people might feel. If you're reading this and only take one thing away from it, I hope it's this. YOUR feelings are valid. Let yourself feel them. If you feel really sad that you can't see your family this year...totally okay. If you feel relieved that you don't have to see your family this year because it's triggering for you...also totally okay. The important thing is that we just take notice of how we're feeling and simply be aware, or even think about what our feelings may be telling us.
Personally, I have not missed the busyness of the city and the shops. Sometimes those environments hit me with serious sensory overload. I don't miss feeling obligated to go to ALL the Christmas socials. I do miss the sunshine and the ocean though, as well as some people back home. I'm grateful that I'm still able to spend Christmas with someone I love. I miss my mama's cooking and baking, but also I'm excited to be able to have fun cooking and baking EVERYTHING. I'm not really an advent calendar sort of girl but it's been fun decorating the tree and watching Christmas movies and wearing a different pair of Christmas socks every day this week in the lead up to the big day.
Some aspects of this season are sad and scary. Others are filled with an overwhelming sense of relief, peace and just pure happiness. That might (or might not) be the same for you, but even if it isn't that's okay because whatever your feelings are, they're valid because they're yours. Be kind to yourself this season. You are loved.
Merry Christmas, beautiful souls!
P.s. Bring on the rum cake!!!